Thursday, December 29, 2011

A Moment of Truth

Here we are, at the end of another year. It was busy, but one that came without incident. The little bumps along the way were welcome in comparison to some of the big boulders we've climbed, over the years.

I don't know about you, but it takes me awhile to make sense of crisis and loss, when it comes. There is a sort of ripple effect, like in an earthquake. The tremors can be felt miles away, reaching beyond the initial point of impact. That's kind of how I tend to process life. When stuff hits me, I often don't realize how bad it is until later on.

Maybe God does that on purpose, to protect the innocent--who knows. Dealing with my mom's death continues to be a process for me. At different times of the year, it can be harder...or not. But God has and will continue to carry me through. The song 'Thrive', from the Newsboys, has been especially meaningful to me over the holiday season. Check out the lyrics sometime and you'll see why its such a powerful song.

Been thinking about people, relationships, life, God...and what I'd like to change, going into 2012. Do you ever get frustrated with yourself? Sick and tired of you? Unable to fix the mess? Yeah, I think we all can say we've been there. That's me right now. I have no good, logical reason for feeling that way--I just do. I'm done--had enough of me--ready to move on. Looking in the mirror, I do not like the reflection I see. And I'm not talking about the newly emerged crow's feet(LOL-the hallmark of turning 35),but more the 'wrinkles of the heart' staring me in the face.

Guess what? I can't fix it. My resolve to do so will maybe last through the month of January, as do many resolutions. This one is too big for me. But I can trust. I can take the time to get to know God better and hear Him speak. I don't know how that will all turn out. I will most certainly fail, time and time again--but then what: I'll just get back up. Doesn't matter if I'm barefoot, wearing slippers, or mud boots--just have to keep on walking the walk.

Here's what I want for 2012. To simply love God and others, better than in 2011. Sounds so basic and easy to do, but I think it is one of the hardest commands: Loving the Lord your God, and your neighbor as yourself. The golden rule, right? It requires a relationship in Christ, that will fuel the ability to carry this out. Our own power and strength will not be enough. Dying to self, surrendering our desires and plans, allowing God to take the reigns. For without the death of a seed, there can be no substantial growth. *I'm definitely not there yet, but many times when I write--I do so to encourage not only others, but to remind myself of where I want to someday be.

God promises us that if we seek after Him, first, everything else will be added(Matt. 6:33-34). It may not be what I had in mind, but it will be so much more than I could ever dream up on my own. I will not settle for just getting by--I want more than that. Life is short, and every thing here is temporary in nature. Whatever I do, I want to send it on ahead, into eternity. Ready for some adventure? I know I am. I hope your Christmas season contained some unspeakable joy--have a blessed and Happy New Year!