Sunday, May 16, 2010

Bugs, Sunshine, and Lemonade

It feels like summer, finally. After about a week of cloudy weather, I'm so glad to see the sun! I'm pretty sure that I have "undiagnosed Seasonal Affective Disorder". I get pretty down with ongoing cloudy weather and have found that high doses of vitamin D3 are helpful in the winter months. I feel better and I don't get sick with much more than a sniffle, here and there. When spring came along, I lowered my dosage to half, thinking that the long awaited sun, turning on its axis, would make up the difference. It did in April; and then May showed up, with clouds and rain. Oops. Guess I'll wait a little longer, next time around.

So with warmer weather comes all the bugs we like to avoid. I live in the country, so checking for wood ticks, before coming inside, is a must. Haven't seen too many around my house, but I found one in the most unlikely of places today. It's a Sunday morning, and today you would find us in a house of worship, singing with a crowd of people. My daughter is in my right arm, sucking her thumb, when I see something flash between her fingers.

There it was, that nasty little creature, latched in between her third and fourth fingers! I managed to pull it off, and then dropped it on the carpet. I suddenly thought, "Should've killed it so it doesn't crawl on the next person." About a minute later, my son starts chanting, "Mommy, a spider, a spider, LOOK!" There it was again, this time on the back of the row of green chairs in front of us. I transferred it onto some paper, grabbed a sippy cup, and blasted it, several times. Those little buggers have tough skin! My next weapon: a veggie tales movie, soon to be returned to the church library. That did it. All of this happened during the course of one song. What a strange place to find a wood tick! And you didn't think anything interesting could happen, in church?( Just kidding...well, sort of.) God does have a sense of humor!

In a general sense, I love nature and all that has been created...but I do not like any insect or bug that feels the need to burrow into the skin and hang out for an eternity. And while I hold to that opinion, you would find me sprawled out on the lawn this afternoon, trying to get some color on the old pasty legs. It was awesome. I should do that, every sunny day, for at least half an hour. It sure makes a person feel better. This idea that all sunlight is bad for the skin is distorted. We need it just as much as every plant or tree with leaves needs it. Moderate exposure, on a daily basis, is good for most people...unless you burn very easily. I don't start applying the sunscreen until the afternoon, and only if I'm outside for several hours.

While we're on the subject of being healthy, I did end up going to the doctor about my lungs. I walked into that appointment, already feeling much better, but decided to go ahead with it anyway. All tests came back normal, as far as the lungs are concerned. Heart is beating like its supposed to, despite my occasional "flutters" in times of stress. So all of these odd symptoms I was having are due to anxiety and stress. This is the time of year that my mom was nearing death. I've been told that I may experience this, annually, until some time has gone by. I was given a referral to see a therapist. Wow. I actually admitted that to whomever is listening.

Haven't yet decided who will accompany me in my 'grief recovery', as it has been called. My insurance covers therapy, but only after the deductible is met. I have a few people that I could meet with. Most of them would not charge me. I'd rather have coffee, cup in hand, and let my sorrows out to a trusted friend...or two. I did this, last Tuesday, and found immediate release of the weight that was pulling me down. It's good to get it out and be with those who are gifted in listening. I'm so thankful for compassionate people. God put just who I needed, in my life, when I needed them. It's a beautiful thing, how He orchestrates the events in our lives to bring about ultimate good. I'm not referring to the 'lemons', but to the 'lemonade' that comes after every ounce of sourness is squeezed out...and then a little sweetness is that of a good friend in a time of need. What once was bitter can now be refreshing.

We finished the day with a softball game. This time we all came along to cheer Troy on. So long as the game meets at a field with a playground, we all can go. The guys did better this time, even though the other team won. It was fun to watch and hang out with friends. Days like today don't get much better than this. Simple pleasures and good humor. That's what I love about life. Even during times of grief, I need to keep going. Reminds me of another happy childhood memory.

When I was about 7 years old, Annie hit the scene. The movie, the red dress, the little dog: I wanted to be Annie. I loved watching that movie. Probably because deep down, there was a part of me that related to some of the hardship this little orphan was going through. I believed that one day, I would be living like a princess with my own 'Daddy Warbucks'(and Miss Farrell) and have every thing my heart desired. Like Annie, I felt that I had to 'earn my keep' and prove my worthiness in order to be loved. What I've learned, through the years, is that I am loved unconditionally by a Father who can meet my every need and knows my heart's desires, inside and out. I may not get every thing I want, but I am blessed and 'better than I deserve'. Like Annie, I know that 'the sun'l come out, tomorrow'.

The sun will come out, tomorrow.
Bet your bottom dollar that, tomorrow
there will be sun.

Just thinking about, tomorrow.
Scares away the cobwebs and the sorrows.
'Til there's none.

When I'm stuck with a day,
that gray, and lonely.
I just stick out my chin, and grin, and say...oh...

The sun'l come out, tomorrow.
So you gotta hang on 'til, tomorrow...
Come what may...

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow.
You're only, a day away.